For our Gentile readers and those raised “culturally Jewish,” I should explain what Sarah is doing. The Shechechiyanu is a prayer said at New Year’s, the first recurring holiday of the new year (like Shabbat and such) and basically any time something new enters your life, be it a baby, an apartment or even a set of clothes. Now the couch is a part of the family!

Funny story about this one. Apparently, since you’re not supposed to write “Adonai” in print, or the Hasidic Orthodox all have heart attacks, we had to substitute the name “Hashem” in the newspaper print version. Even funnier story, the word Adonai technically means “Lord” and is itself intended as a replacement word for the literal not-allowed-to-speak-it name of God. So, we had to replace the replacement word with a replacement replacement word to keep jimmies from getting rustled – go figure!

The big concern is the sacrilege of throwing away paper with the printed name of God. Since you don’t have to destroy a JPEG after reading, I consider the matter resolved.

Oh, and a happy Fourth to my fellow former-colonists!